I’ve decided I’ll no longer be posting to this blog. It’s been very valuable for me, especially the comments from readers. However, as fascinating as reading and writing are, they aren’t helpful to me right now.
I’m a reader and a writer by disposition and by long habit. It was reading and writing (online, in fact) that gradually pried me away from some very severe delusions I once held dearly . It’s also through reading and writing (also online) that I made contact with some excellent, thoughtful, and well-tempered voices who have been helpful to me and who have become my friends.
But I feel I’ve reaced a plateau (at least for the time being) beyond which reading and writing, especially online, will not carry me. There are some rather fundamental changes I’ve had to make to my lifestyle to bring it in line with what I now recognize to be a moral and purposeful life. But it’s not been enough to simply have that realization and make a one-time (or two-time or ten-time) solemn vow to follow the proper path.
We are creatures of habit, creatures of the body, and creatures of our environment — just as we are creatures of spirit, creatures of will, and creatures of God. I’m prone to letting misty ideas about the second half of that list get miles ahead of my actual daily behavior. In order to do follow my spirit more truly, I need to change my habits.
This means spending my free time in quiet and meditation, in reading old books, in passing moments with loved ones.
This means not having a posting schedule to adhere to, and not worrying about replying to comments.
This means not immediately trying to articulate every inner experience I have, and not spending too much time trying to explain myself to people who misunderstand, disagree, or argue. This blog is not a particularly argumentative one, especially by internet standards, and so I have no complaints. But that’s hardly the point. It’s the very nature of the format that puts me in such a mindset: to explain, to argue, and to anticipate disagreement.
I’m not swearing off critical thought by any means. (And, see? There I am already trying to anticipate and diffuse any misunderstanding of my previous paragraph.) I’m merely giving myself some time to let things sink in on the animal level.
I’ll be keeping this URL as an archive, and I may very well start posting again in the future should the time be right. I’ll be writing in the meantime, privately, and who knows? Perhaps some of that will make its way onto this site in the future.
A very sincere thank you to everyone who has commented on the blog, especially the regular commenters. It’s been immensely valuable for me.
Out of Sleep 